Sorry I'm Not Sorry?

So another significant thing I’ve noticed about Houston is that in media and social settings, anything goes. It seems to me like Oklahoma City is pretty safe, in terms of what the media discusses and what is deemed socially acceptable for a reasonable person. OKC pretty much stays under the radar. What I mean by this is…you can’t fart in Oklahoma without offending someone. Either Houston gets offended by very little, or no one gives a shit enough to censor anything. Ain’t no shame in the Houston game.

There is a morning radio show in Houston that I sometimes listen to on the way to work and occasionally they have a feature called ‘What You Doin’ at the Courthouse?’ Yes, the exact title. You don’t realize how much it hurts me to type botched grammar. You cannot make this shit up. Take a second to really soak that in. Basically, the premise is that one of the hosts of the radio show posts up outside the downtown courthouse and interviews people, asking them why they are at the courthouse to begin with. This is quite possibly the most intrusive radio feature of all time. It also happens to be amazing and something that I have found myself to be addicted to. One of those things that you hear and your ears perk up and you instantly turn up the radio, like the opposite of what you do when you hear Ke$ha. Although the answers are hilariously random and perfect, there are definitely some common denominators. Such as: 1) it’s never their fault 2) their grammar is questionable 3) they think they’re going to be famous, and never hesitate a shout out. This isn’t The Price is Right people, you’re going to jail.

Well listening to ‘What You Doin’ at the Courthouse?’ this morning got me thinking, several times a week I come across something random and think, ‘that would never happen in Oklahoma.’ Last week, I was looking online for some parties/bar events going on for Halloween. And let me tell you, there is a plethora. So I’m reading and see something about a swingers’ party. Cute, a costume, Halloween-themed, swing dancing class! Maybe boyfriend and I could…wait…no…I think that’s…OHMYGAWDDD…Yes. A legitimate Halloween party for those who swap spouses. Not only that, but it is advertised and promoted on a very popular Web site in Houston. Maybe I’m the most naive person ever, but, WTF. EW?

In addition to this, there are sex shops everywhere, a strip club called ‘The Church,’ (see what they did there? ‘Honey, I’m going to Church on my lunch hour today.’) liquor is sold in gas stations, and alcohol in Hobby airport has a to-go option. 

This is the shit that dreams are made of.

Did I mention liquor is sold in gas stations? You know what is also sold in gas stations? 40s. Not just 40s, COLD 40s, in a cooler, with ice. Drink and drive much?

Are you offended yet?

Me either. This is fascinating.

UPDATE: An instructional article outlining the basics of buying your child their first gun. This is too much.