Catch Me if You Can

So...I am extremely kind of addicted in to running. No, not that treadmill shit, that's just cruel. The outdoor, pound the pavement, murder your joints, endure ridiculous weather conditions, old-fashioned running. It's been my happy place for years and since I've moved, I've found much solace in running. I have used running as a way to find my way around and sort of explore what I don't see driving to and from work every day. Unfortunately, when you're working 8-5 and no one in your office takes a lunch, there leaves little time to run. So for the past couple months, I've been trying to stay committed to running before work. It's been working out pretty well but the only down side is that it's dark outside when I run. Well, I'm used to Oklahoma City where you leave your house unlocked, your cars open with the keys in the ignition and all your valuables in your mail box. So I thought nothing of it and actually felt it to be therapeutic. Turns out, big cities come with big crime and boyfriend decides it's time to make a change in my routine. If I'm going to be running in the dark I can at least not be a dumbass about it. OK. FINE. So we went to Academy and got some gear in order for safer 5am Houston running. 

So what I end up with is:

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And something like this: 

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So the next morning, I get all suited up in my gear and find that the mace makes me feel EPICALLY EMPOWERED. This also makes me run faster. But a really big part twinge of me just hopes someone will jump me so that I can ninja them and save the world and be famous. 'Mobster attacks runner; she attacks him back and kicks his ass, breaking his legs' famousness. I have reenacted this several times in my head. 

So what I feel like is this: 

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RAAWWWWWRRR IF ANYONE MESSES WITH ME I PROMISE YOU THIS RUNNER'S MACE WILL SHOOT AT YOU LIKE A VELOCIRAPTOR AND MOLEST YOUR CORNEA, BLINDING YOU FOREVER. 

But some part of me still thinks I look like this***: 

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***With a reflective vest on

But, now boyfriend and mom sleep better at night and I still don't give up hopes of ninja-ing the first criminal that has ever been awake at 5am.