The Daily Grind

So I don’t know what is happening with America but Fridays always seem to stress me out more than any other day of the week. Isn’t the opposite supposed to be happening?

About a month ago, I was having THROBBING MURDER POUNDING pain in my tooth/jaw/head. This went on for several days and it was maddening. At the time, my only rationalization was that I definitely had a brain tumor. Intense pain mixed with a new life with a dash of my inherent paranoia makes me slightly irrational. Being new to Houston, new my job and unsure whether or not my health insurance had activated, this gave me substantial anxiety. When I had just about enough, I end up going to a Lady Dentist and spending a good portion of time taking X-rays and sitting with my mouth open, thus making my jaw and head throb in even more intense pain. After a couple hours, Lady Dentist reveals to me the geniusness that would cure me, I was GRINDING my teeth at night. First of all, I can’t even say grind without getting the hee bee geebies. Second of all, WHAT FOR? WHY ME?? Lady Dentist tells me in her doctor voice that most often, teeth grinding is a result of stress. For me, this is probably caused by significant life changes such as moving and starting a new job. So she gives me some muscle relaxers (which I’ve realized is a doctor’s way of saying, chill the fuck out) and sent me on my merry grinding way. Eventually, the muscle relaxers gave me stress-less sleep and the MURDEROUS pain went away. I assumed my grinding issues were behind me. Look how stress free I am!

 

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WELL. Last night around 3am I wake up to boyfriend handing me a cup of water. My first impulse is WTF but my second impulse is, what do you want me to do with THAT? He says in total desperation, ‘here, please take a drink.’ So I’m like garrrr whaattt?? whyyy?? And he says, you are doing something with your mouth, here. Apparently that was good enough reason because I took a drink and went to bed, hydrated nonetheless.

So this morning getting ready for work this comes back to my memory and I'm trying to remember if it was real life or a dream....so I’m like, skkkkkkkirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttt … boyfriend, WTF was that? He says I was grinding my teeth so loud it woke him up. What you need to understand at this point is that boyfriend sleeps through anything. Examples:

Did you hear the storm last night? Nope.

Did you hear that car alarm last night? Nope.

Did you hear that dog last night? Nope.

Did you hear the bomb under your pillow? Nope. 

Did you hear aliens land on the roof and abduct me? Nope?

‘That clicking noise woke me up.’

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

So apparently I’m stressed out again and now I’m having anxiety about the anxiety I may or may not be having and WTF is this doing for my teeth and brain??

NO. 

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