Maybe it's the fact that I am expected to be a civilized adult 5/7 days of the week but something about Halloween this year just made me want to go embarrassingly overboard. Boyfriend and I decided a long time ago that we were going to be Alladin and Jasmine. This is both racially insensitive and genius because boyfriend just happens to be 1/2 Iranian, so we've got the whole Arabian nights thing already happening. A requirement was that he had to be street rat Alladin, not Prince Alladin. For those of you whose childhoods were meaningless, I will explain the significance of this in pictures:
uweb.und.nodak.edu
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| tvdance.com |
Additionally, I spent an uncomfortable amount of money buying a costume so that I could become my life-long idol.
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Since my office is one chain email away from being The Office the show, we had dress up day on the Friday before Shalloween. So in an attempt to conform and be in with my new coworkers, I dressed up. The reality is, I'll take any excuse to wear this epic costume. I adore this costume. For about the first two hours of the work day, my coworkers were taking pictures and doing other various cliche bullshit but I play along because that's what people do, fake excited about really stupid stuff. In about five minutes we took dozens of pictures and in another five minutes they were all on the Internet. In looking through the photos on Facebook, I realize something. I am positively BEAMING in every picture. Like a little girl, I was beyond proud to be Jasmine for the day. Hopefully they didn't catch on. Obviously, I'm way too mature to be this excited about a child's holiday.
The next night boyfriend and I go to a party at a mutual friend's house for adult Shalloween festivities. Now this is when the shit really went down. This is something I can get excited about. This was my big shot to get all glammed up. And glammed up I GOT. Fake eyelashes, loads of makeup, and my shiny blue Jasmine costume. Boyfriend was geared up in his Alladin clothes, his muscles looking faboosh in his purple vest. This was going to be a great night. We were ready for the famousness.
I understand that everyone gets a little too drunk for their own good every once in awhile. Everyone has been that person at the party. I understand. The person that, as soon as you leave/go to bed, everyone else can resume the functional fun that you were too over the top to handle. Well, there was a girl at the party that was exactly that. Let me tell you, I have never seen someone so out of their mind. And I went to a Big 12 school. Stammering, stuttering, falling all over the place, nipples out, bowl full of jelly, the whole package. She wasn't even dressed up, which just annoyed me from the start. Not only that, but this chick was on the prowl. You know the scene, the wasted girl who will literally pounce on anything that moves and has male private parts. Hilarity ensues.
Anyway, home girl is not my friend and I don't even know her name, so I'm giving myself permission to blog about her on the WWW. The most epic display of dysfunction occurred when a group of girls were posing to take a picture, smiling, pretty, glitter, etc, etc, and home girl wobbles up from the couch to get in the picture, jumps in front of us, and flashes her tits to all of our boyfriends. Well, if this isn't the biggest 'fuck you' then I don't know what is...At this point, I have second hand embarrassment so bad that I cannot take it. If I wasn't under the influence, my anxiety would have been off the charts. Then, after she shows her goodies to the world, she falls straight on her ass. THUD. The best part, in the meantime of this shitshow, this girl is taking the time to try to get us all to attend her party the following night. ????? OK, let me tell you what's not going to happen. Because, I've seen how hard you party, and I'm pretty sure I can't keep up. But, thanks for the offer.
All in all, Shalloween was a success. I enjoyed being Jasmine and I'm pretty sure boyfriend was more than a little pumped about getting back to his roots as Alladin. And for the record, and since this is the first time this has happened ever, boyfriend did get significantly more intoxicated than me. Check mate.
We're already brain storming for next year. I promise you, we won't disappoint.
The next night boyfriend and I go to a party at a mutual friend's house for adult Shalloween festivities. Now this is when the shit really went down. This is something I can get excited about. This was my big shot to get all glammed up. And glammed up I GOT. Fake eyelashes, loads of makeup, and my shiny blue Jasmine costume. Boyfriend was geared up in his Alladin clothes, his muscles looking faboosh in his purple vest. This was going to be a great night. We were ready for the famousness.
I understand that everyone gets a little too drunk for their own good every once in awhile. Everyone has been that person at the party. I understand. The person that, as soon as you leave/go to bed, everyone else can resume the functional fun that you were too over the top to handle. Well, there was a girl at the party that was exactly that. Let me tell you, I have never seen someone so out of their mind. And I went to a Big 12 school. Stammering, stuttering, falling all over the place, nipples out, bowl full of jelly, the whole package. She wasn't even dressed up, which just annoyed me from the start. Not only that, but this chick was on the prowl. You know the scene, the wasted girl who will literally pounce on anything that moves and has male private parts. Hilarity ensues.
Anyway, home girl is not my friend and I don't even know her name, so I'm giving myself permission to blog about her on the WWW. The most epic display of dysfunction occurred when a group of girls were posing to take a picture, smiling, pretty, glitter, etc, etc, and home girl wobbles up from the couch to get in the picture, jumps in front of us, and flashes her tits to all of our boyfriends. Well, if this isn't the biggest 'fuck you' then I don't know what is...At this point, I have second hand embarrassment so bad that I cannot take it. If I wasn't under the influence, my anxiety would have been off the charts. Then, after she shows her goodies to the world, she falls straight on her ass. THUD. The best part, in the meantime of this shitshow, this girl is taking the time to try to get us all to attend her party the following night. ????? OK, let me tell you what's not going to happen. Because, I've seen how hard you party, and I'm pretty sure I can't keep up. But, thanks for the offer.
All in all, Shalloween was a success. I enjoyed being Jasmine and I'm pretty sure boyfriend was more than a little pumped about getting back to his roots as Alladin. And for the record, and since this is the first time this has happened ever, boyfriend did get significantly more intoxicated than me. Check mate.
We're already brain storming for next year. I promise you, we won't disappoint.
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